Frank Costanza Cordially Invites You to Festivus

Festivus

"I got a lot of problems with you people!"

"And now you’re gonna hear about it!"

There's Got to Be a
Better Way!

Every year, they come and go. Christmas coins. Hanukkah tokens. Kwanzaa cash. All promising the moon, all delivering nothing but disappointment and empty wallets.

You've seen it before: flashy websites, big promises, celebrity endorsements... and then? Rug pulls. Exit scams. Your holiday spirit crushed.

But then, like Frank Costanza standing up from his chair, you declare: "I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're gonna hear about it!"

That's when it hits you... There's got to be a better way!

Enter FESTIVUS - the holiday coin that doesn't pretend to be anything it's not. No false promises. No fake tokenomics. Just pure, unadorned aluminum pole energy. A coin for those who are tired of the same old holiday scam cycle.

It's a Festivus miracle! 🎉

What is Festivus?

How It Works

1

Air the Grievance

Type your 280-char rant and hit submit.

Post now
2

Auto Share Card

We instantly create a Festivus card. Download it in one tap.

Built-in. Zero design work.
3

Blast on X

Hit the X button, attach the card, and tag the crew.

Add memes to the post

The Airing of Grievances

@

0 / 280

Meme Locker

Airing of grievances comic meme

Airing of Grievances

Use with your rant post.

Download PNG

Token Details

Contract Address

Solana • Tap to copy the CA

Double-check this matches pump.fun before you buy.

How to Buy

1

Load a Solana Wallet

Download Phantom or Backpack, create a new wallet, and back up your seed phrase like Frank guards the pole.

2

Fund with SOL

Use your favorite on-ramp or another exchange, then send SOL to your wallet so you’re ready to buy.

3

Visit pump.fun

Head to pump.fun, search for $FESTIVUS, and verify the contract matches what’s posted above.

4

Buy & Celebrate

Swap your SOL for $FESTIVUS, share the CA with friends, and prepare to air grievances with style.

Roadmap

Short, loud, and built around community receipts.

Phase 1 — The Festivus Awakening (Week 1)
  • Launch with full Seinfeld-style honesty
  • Drop the aluminum pole logo
  • Publish the manifesto: “No promises, no utilities, only Festivus”
  • Open Telegram, X, website — minimalistic on purpose
  • Meme kit: pole banners + airing of grievances templates
  • Contract verification & renounce (depending on design)
  • Liquidity lock (no rug, only roast)
Phase 2 — The Airing of Grievances (Week 1–2)
  • Community memes roasting failed holiday coins
  • “Festivus Grievance Thread Sundays” on X
  • Influencer grievances (light roasting allowed)
  • Anti-rug education posts disguised as Festivus memes
  • Feature top grievances from the wall onto the site
Phase 3 — Feats of Strength (Week 2–4)
  • Festivus Challenges: posting contests, meme battles, raid missions
  • Strength challenges: hold your bag; push $FESTIVUS to trending; deadlift the MC to 1M
  • Community XP and recognition
  • Small prize pools for winners (community wallet)